Why I've Been Absent (Living With Anxiety)
So this is quite an unusual blog post for me to write considering I'll be talking about something that I've only been able to tell 3 of my friends.
I've mentioned on blog posts before that I get very stressed and class myself as a "worrier", and I've spoken about what I do to relax, but a few months ago I reached a stage where the stress was getting too much. I felt so uncomfortable for large parts of the day, I would have panic attacks, and get myself so worked up over the smallest of things. Everything just seemed to be getting harder and harder, but it was never something I felt like I could bring up and talk to anyone about. I mean it sounds so trivial when you try to say it out loud.
Basically the time came when I realised I would have to go the doctors for a chat. Even if I could just tell them how I was feeling, have them tell me it was normal and give me tips on how to cut down the worrying and feel a bit more in control of my life.
I went into my appointment and immediately when I tried to explain to the doctor how I was feeling I started crying. It felt so pathetic to be getting that upset when there was nothing I could even say was upsetting me. The doctor just sat and listened to me trying to get the words out and explain what was going on, and was so, so understanding.
He explained to me that I have an anxiety disorder (which isn't surprising, but is still a bit of a shock to be told). It sounded so daunting. Anxiety disorder. I spoke to him for about 10 more minutes discussing what we could do and I came out of the appointment feeling like a slight weight had been lifted. It felt good to finally have a plan of action against my anxiety, something I haven't had my entire life.
Over the past couple of months I have felt a lot more comfortable in myself. I mean I still have the occasional bad day, but that's just a part of life!
I just really wish I'd thought about going to the doctor's sooner. I've grown up with bad anxiety but it took me being pushed to my limits before I actually did anything about it. I was petrified I wouldn't make any sense, but the docs are well trained and mental health disorders are A LOT more common than you'd think.
It took me far longer than it should have to actually take proper control of my life again, and if you don't feel like you're in the best place mentally then you should definitely consider going to the docs. They can always recommend good ways to feel more yourself, like websites which train you how to think in response to certain situations and other useful things like that.
Nobody should go through life trying to battle with their mental health. Everyone should be able to feel happy and in control of their life.
Lots of love and stay safe, Freya x
I've mentioned on blog posts before that I get very stressed and class myself as a "worrier", and I've spoken about what I do to relax, but a few months ago I reached a stage where the stress was getting too much. I felt so uncomfortable for large parts of the day, I would have panic attacks, and get myself so worked up over the smallest of things. Everything just seemed to be getting harder and harder, but it was never something I felt like I could bring up and talk to anyone about. I mean it sounds so trivial when you try to say it out loud.
Basically the time came when I realised I would have to go the doctors for a chat. Even if I could just tell them how I was feeling, have them tell me it was normal and give me tips on how to cut down the worrying and feel a bit more in control of my life.
I went into my appointment and immediately when I tried to explain to the doctor how I was feeling I started crying. It felt so pathetic to be getting that upset when there was nothing I could even say was upsetting me. The doctor just sat and listened to me trying to get the words out and explain what was going on, and was so, so understanding.
He explained to me that I have an anxiety disorder (which isn't surprising, but is still a bit of a shock to be told). It sounded so daunting. Anxiety disorder. I spoke to him for about 10 more minutes discussing what we could do and I came out of the appointment feeling like a slight weight had been lifted. It felt good to finally have a plan of action against my anxiety, something I haven't had my entire life.
Over the past couple of months I have felt a lot more comfortable in myself. I mean I still have the occasional bad day, but that's just a part of life!
I just really wish I'd thought about going to the doctor's sooner. I've grown up with bad anxiety but it took me being pushed to my limits before I actually did anything about it. I was petrified I wouldn't make any sense, but the docs are well trained and mental health disorders are A LOT more common than you'd think.
It took me far longer than it should have to actually take proper control of my life again, and if you don't feel like you're in the best place mentally then you should definitely consider going to the docs. They can always recommend good ways to feel more yourself, like websites which train you how to think in response to certain situations and other useful things like that.
Nobody should go through life trying to battle with their mental health. Everyone should be able to feel happy and in control of their life.
Lots of love and stay safe, Freya x
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| If in doubt, go to your happy place. Miami - 2014. |
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